I am not a very intentional writer. No matter how much of a plan I may have before I sit down to write, I very rarely seem able to finish the planned piece. What I have when I hit the publish button is something that sometimes seems related to my original plan and other times seems like the flip side of the coin, like “today’s” (keep reading).
Then there are the ones that just go completely off the rails and write themselves. That also accounts for my randomness in how and when I publish. Something that I am trying to improve upon. I am not very good at writing for a deadline, even my own. I can not write on command, I have to feel it. I have to feel the need to write, which means that I also have to feel like the words need to be said. No only that, they need to be said in the way that I would say them.
Which, yes, I know, is at odds with the fact that I seem to almost never finish the original planned article. Thus, how can I have to feel the need to write and or the need to speak some thought or opinion or idea my way, if I know that the chances are very good that I will not wholly or entirely, if at all, speak them myself.
I guess that is where trust comes in.
Trust in my muse.
Trust in my emotions.
Trust in my feeling/instinct.
Trust in my process.
The challenge is in trusting all those things and still being able to actually be heard. Heard in a world that is altogether too noisy to begin with. Heard in a world that seems to be more interested in insignificant noise. Heard in a world that hears but doesn’t listen.
As part of over-coming these challenges and more, I am trying to be more intentional in my writing while still listening to my feel the need voice and allowing the randomness the flow it needs. The hope is that by opening myself up more with my writing that it will increase the need and that the increased need will result in more content to provide less randomness in the when future articles publish.
Another step in over-coming challenges, was the seed of my own thought, in turn watered and nurtured into a seedling by my amazing, loving, supportive partner. I have written in some form for almost 15 years. I began my journey when a friend, K, tried to encourage me to write a book on current political and cultural issues of the time. I was in NO way ready to write a book. I did not believe in myself or my voice at the time. But, I believed in K, so I decided that I would try my hand at blogging.
Thus, politics and current news items of interest around the world were my first topics that I felt needed my voice. It was my belief that it was the duty and responsibility of each citizen to know and understand every thing that Our Country was engaging in around the world in Our Name. It was and is my opinion that as citizens that we have forgotten that governments should be limited in scope for the sake of freedom and that NO government should be so big as to not be answerable to their rightful bosses, the people served by said government. We also seem to have forgotten that we can not have freedom and a full-service government that tells us every little thing we can and cannot do.
However, what I learned over the years was that most people do not want real freedom, as that requires self-sufficiency, as well as, self-accountability. Freedom or free will comes with the price of living with the choices that you make. So I shifted my topics as I realized that I seemed to be the only one caring about all the wrongs in the world and all the erosion of our freedoms and rights happening daily in the name of safety. In addition, my personal life fell apart in a very damaging way.
I lost myself and all that I had built inside me from K’s encouragement. When it was hard enough to hold things together every day, finding time to write was impossible. Add to that, it became self-torture for me to sit down to write pieces about the current state of the nation and the world, which seemed to be as broken and disheartened as I was.
But, I had discovered that writing did give me a certain sense of satisfaction and pride; in addition, I wasn’t half bad at it, either. So, what do I do about it? For awhile, I did nothing. Life and time went on, then I was blessed to meet D. In him, I found someone that I could be comfortable around and that I could trust. Not only that, but D encouraged me to open up and share things that I had not before. See I am a nerd at heart, but I was raised and surrounded by more of the warrior, action-hero in the flesh types, not that I could not hang with them as it went. With D, he actually showed sincere interest in my random nerdiness.
So back to what to do about my desire to write again…with D’s support, and having time I took a chance to share my random nerdiness passion with the world. What is my random nerdiness passion? In very general terms it is history. The older the better and all the topics that go with it! And of course I had been writing some personal pieces as well here. What that meant was that I was up to 3 blogs! Which has recently become 4! (Want to know #4 check out Linux For You And I.)
My varied and random interests and life caused me to have feast and famine cycles with my writing and splitting that 3 ways meant that each area was shamefully neglected. The neglect was such that I felt like the best thing would be to give up my writing lock stock and barrel. And I really did try, more than once, more than twice, more than that. But each time that I did, it eventually would feel wrong, or more I would feel that old have to need again.
That is where the seed to try to link all my writings together more germinated. Yet, it was D that took my little seed and gave me a seedling. And as with any beautiful, amazing grand oak, it will take time and sun and rain and love and patience to get there. Where is there? It is ONE place for all of my writing. ONE place to have all my topics for everyone’s views. I hope that putting all my old blogs (and D’s couple too) in one place that it will make things easier for you to find and enjoy as well as helping me be more intentional in my writing life.
It will happen in steps. Steps that I will take in full view. We will become Random Thought and we will have a new home for everything. We will have a more professional look and higher content quality.