I was and am one of the luckiest people in the world. I have managed to find the best best friend and the most perfect for me partner, both in the same person. This is something that I think we have lost and it explains why divorce has become such a common fact and people deciding to just live together or just date a more common reality. We now have the friend zone and the dating pool and they rarely, if ever, merge and that is a bad thing. If we want the most from a relationship, our best chance of success, we should only look for love in our friend zone! Think about it, these are already the people that we like, that we trust, that we have things in common with. Not to mention they are the ones that have seen our good and bad and are still there. All the things that we say we want from a partner, yet, we look at strangers in the club or on match-making apps for our perfect mate, completely ignoring the best resource closest to us.
Don’t get me wrong! I am not saying to tear through your Friend Zone like Hurricane Andrew through South Florida. What I am saying is that refusing to follow the chemistry and or natural desires just because the other is in your friend zone is setting yourself up for failure. First, if you are true friends, then seeing where dating will lead will not end the friendship. More importantly, if the dating leads to the happily ever after turn off, you have a much greater chance of success since you are friends first.
My partner and I started as friends first, matter of fact, neither of us wanted more than friendship. And that friendship very quickly ignited into a blazing fire that shot like a rocket to the intersection of No Return and Happily Ever After! And sure because our little embers of friendship blew up into a raging wildfire we did have some growing pains and lots of challenges. Our best advantage for overcoming them all; our foundation was our friendship! No, we were not life long friends, but, we clicked from the “friends” part from the start and we have never lost it or forgotten it. And these prompts from the beginning are more true today than they were then:
An Engaging Conversation . . . . .
If I couldn’t be me with you…..
I wish to have been a cotton plant
grown and cultivated
to be the finest thread of Egyptian cotton,
dyed your favorite shade of your favorite color.
To be spun into the strongest softest thread,
woven into sheets that wrap around you each and every night….
keeping your dreams safe
surrounding you with love
The nights with you would be the most perfect
I could imagine or hope for.
I would be the envy of every angel in the heavens,
to be able to be so close to you
to feel your skin
to bask in your warmth,
not even heaven could compare to you.