Letter Never Sent

Dear Love,

I know that I have never been easy. I know that most of the time I have been more than difficult. Each day with you I seem to find another broken piece of me. I knew before you that I was not whole and that I was cracked; but, I never knew just how completely broken I was. I have come to the conclusion that there is no part of me that is not broken. It is simply a matter of just how broken the parts of me are. I have tried to fit my pieces back together, yet, there are so many pieces that I am not capable. I have tried to put up a wall to hide the shattered remains that are my heart and soul, and it falls and crumbles to the ground.

In front of me you stand so solid and strong and complete. You are beautiful. You are perfection. You are everything that I wish I was. You are beautiful and I am plain. You are colorful and I am monochrome. You are strong and I am pieces. You are success and I am ruins. You are the empire and I am the lost. You are the Sun and I am the shadow. You are the Moon and I am the darkness. You are the stars and I am the dust.

So I sit in my corner and try to pick up my pieces. Then the gales blow and they are scattered again. I sit in my corner and try to fit the pieces together. Then the hail comes and knocks them down again. I sit in my corner and try to color my pieces. Then the darkness comes and hides it all. Every time I try, it is not enough.

You are there forever in my view. I am forever in love with you. So I stay in my corner and I keep trying, even when I am lost, even when I am tired, even when I am defeated, even when I am alone. I hope and pray that you see me trying and that it matters to you. I hope and pray that you will be patient with me. I hope that you will not give up on me.

I hope…..

 

Photo byΒ Annie SprattΒ onΒ Unsplash

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