I Miss You

My Dearest,

I could open with the normal salutations, but they feel so inadequate and sound so pretentious. So do I just jump right to the heart of my heart? Or should I meander through the paths of us until I get to our secret bench under the arbor? But then I wonder why, it will be empty, you are not there, not really. Yet, I still roam our paths like a child lost in the labyrinth, looking for you only finding where you were and not where you are.

I carry your letters and hold tight to your words, for else can fill my arms. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, you stand before me with that roguish grin and the devil in your gleam. My sigh settles into a fleeting smile, for in my joy I look up to you with wide eyed anticipation only to find it was my dreams strolling by my side.

My love, I am grateful everyday for your love, the gift that fate has given, but the distance she has created seems for her sport. I am sorry, my darling, as improper as it is, I must admit that her pleasure is my weakness and I find moments in which despair seems my unwanted companion. My every wish your presence, my every dream your nearness, my every breath your whispered name; yet it is the chill of silence that embraces me.

When the situation here turns from clouds to rain, the chill is to the bone, I find that all warmth eludes me. It is during the rain that I miss you most and need you more. I know of no avail for recovering on my own, for you have entwined yourself most firmly in my state. I am at a loss for concentration when my thoughts are of naught but you. I make every effort to play my role for your sake, to be strong and joyful and industrious in the meanwhile.

I know my wishes are no grander than a spoiled child wanting you with me all the while knowing that my request is not proper or patient. I do not speak them for your compliance but in order that your knowing reminds you of my adoration. I know of no other way than to speak directly for my thoughts to be conveyed unto your own; for even though it seems as though I am but a mere book that you have read until the pages are worn and the binding smooth, it is my need to say so it is known.

You are the vessel that conveys my heart and soul through the universe. I am but a reflection of your love and protection. And for as long as you hold my heart and soul, so you must hold the rest else I be lost and broken. You are the destiny that fate has bestowed me and my destiny you will eternally be.




Photo Credit: Daniel De Jan


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